


Amor Omnia Vincit

by dill_pickle



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Anxious Inquisitor, Awkward Cullen, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Lots of Angst, M/M, Minor Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus, Minor One-Sided Attraction, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 14:38:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12170871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dill_pickle/pseuds/dill_pickle
Summary: Yurik believed that Thedas was mistaken in their labels. He wasn't their savior or their Herald. He was merely a man, anxious, afraid, and a victim of circumstance. But he has now slowly found himself entangling in his deluded infatuation with his broken and isolated Commander.Or: Yurik Trevelyan walking through life as the Inquisitor after the fall of Haven.





	Amor Omnia Vincit

**Author's Note:**

> First fanfic in over three years so I'm a bit rusty. Cullen is precious and Yurik is smol and soft. Critiques appreciated!

* * *

"You're not thinking! What do you inquire that we do? Haven is destroyed and Skyhold is all we have left! And here you are, suggesting we leave because of your irrational paranoia! It’s already been almost a month and _now_ you suggest we leave? After having our people finally establish this place as a home?” Josephine snapped, looking at Leliana with sharp eyes.

"Irrational? I and everyone else here has a right to be concerned! What if Skyhold is merely a trap constructed by Corypheus, simply creating the fort only to constrict us together and exterminate the Inquisition?” The spymaster hissed back, making Cullen heave an irritated sigh.“Both of you are acting like children. We’re here now, that’s all that matters!” Cullen snapped looking at both of them with searing eyes.

"I agree with Commander Cullen, it’s foolish to be arguing. What’s done is done.” Cassandra replied, bluntly making both Josephine and Leliana glare at her. “Why do you always take his side, Cassandra? Why can’t you just see my point of view for once?” Leliana exclaimed, making the Inquisitor roll his eyes as the argument ignited with a new fire and was now rising up once again. The man stood rather out of place among his comrades. He was supposed to be the leader among them, but here he was, feeling small, annoyed, and anxious over their loud arguing. The man was never fond of yelling and he certainly didn’t like the pointless arguments. It made his head hurt and it made his mind become overwhelmed. Too much sound in such small spaces often did that to him. The green eyed man felt his mind start to block out the voices around him. His perfected defensive system of wandering through his daydreams, and escaping the world around him.

He used it often, even if it was only for a short time.

Yurik looked at them briefly feeling anxiety claw at his head. He hated the war table. He hated how they all argued in such a frequency that made his mind burn. He wanted to burn the damn table to the ground. He placed his fingers on the bridge of his nose, sighing to himself as he shut his eyes tight. He liked to daydream of simpler fantasies. He didn’t miss his old life all that much, but he still had such a hard time accepting his new one. So in his mind, he liked to create his own life. It allowed him a bit of bliss. Even if it could be seen as childish and deluded.

Yurik felt shame in this, as he knew 25 year old men shouldn’t daydream.  
But he liked to dream of owning a modest farm. Having a family and seeing his harvest in bloom with solemn pride. He also liked to dream of being a fisherman. Yurik always liked fishing. He remembered when he used to fish with his older brother in his younger days. The pale man liked to imagine owning a humble fishing boat, sailing the seas with the excitement of the next catch.

_“Modest in temper, bold in deed.”_ Yurik sighed to himself in the still intense room, as he began to remember how much he used to believe in the Trevelyan motto. How if he could follow that motto to solid perfection, then he would be the man that would shake the world and bring honor to his family. To be a cool and collected Trevelyan, striding through Thedas with grace yet passion. He wondered what his family must think of him now.

_Probably disgusted over how far you’ve strayed._

“Inquisitor, are you alright?”

Yurik was ripped away from his thoughts of fish and family pressures, and gasped a bit over how abruptly he was now pulled back into reality. The room was now all looking at him and the man felt ashamed. He should have been listening! But then again, he wasn’t very much included in the conversation in the first place. The thought made him sneer lightly, but he then remembered that someone was talking to him. Ah, it was the Commander. Yurik was thankful for the patient look in the older man’s eyes, but he knew that soldiers didn’t care much for mushy sentiments. Yurik nodded and looked at the man clearly.

“Yes, I’m sorry. I was just thinking,” the raven haired man admitted, feeling a bit embarrassed for acting like such an airhead.

“Well what were you thinking about, your worship?” Cullen asked, making Yurik feel a bit surprised. He was not expecting Cullen to delve into the trivial matter any further. The green eyed man didn’t think he needed to. Nobody, not even Yurik himself, should care about pointless daydreams or what he thought and felt. All that mattered is that he brought the Inquisition and Thedas towards victory against Corypheus. Yurik sighed, having his shoulders sag a bit.

“Fish. I was thinking about fish.”

Josephine snickered and he could see the amused grin of Leliana next to her. He also saw the Seeker roll her eyes muttering something along the lines of, “Men… How typical.” Yurik felt a bit embarrassed, but he kept on a stern expression as best he could. He was obviously not a very eloquent man. But Cullen smiled with tight respect and nodded in understanding. Yurik didn’t like how plastic Cullen seemed to act around him. He and many others tended to act that way around him too. Yurik mentally shook the thought aside and decided that it was best if he left. It seemed the heated conversation was now calmed and he could see that everyone else was clearly tired. “I’m taking my leave now. Have a good night everyone.” Yurik muttered a bit too slurred, offering a wave behind his back.

As he left, he could hear the soft replies of the lot drift warmly through the air.

* * *

"I do not understand, Sera. What is it that requires my attention?” Yurik asked, narrowing his eyes at the strange woman. He never understood her logic and frankly it annoyed him whenever she would ramble and take charge of any conversation he had with her, with all hope of logical understanding gone. Yurik, with his impeccable luck, had just been stopped by the blonde elf the moment he walked out of the main hall of Skyhold, heading down towards the stone steps outside.

“What I’m saying, boss is that while the supply of bees will come in nicely, I also need some of your men to help me, you see-”

“Sera, I appreciate your willingness to speak with me on the matter, but I’m afraid we’ll have to have this conversation another time. I have a few things I need to do before I finally am able to head back to my quarters.” Yurik explained, giving a small yet polite smile. He dragged a hand down his face and gave a short and soft breath. He did feel a bit bad for cutting her off so short, but he desperately needed a drink from the tavern and a moment with some cool air before he had to head back, cooped up in his quarters to finish his scouting report over the destruction of Haven. Sera looked at him with a low sigh, but nodded in understanding. It was easy to see that Yurik was a tired man. He looked much older than he really was, as his sharp face was sunken in with shadows, bags hanging under his tired, pale, green eyes. Yurik knew that the dark bags under his tired eyes were noticeable to anyone who looked at him. They were bold in contrast to his freckled, pale skin. He had freckles painted all across his nose and cheeks. It would have made him look rosy and younger if he didn’t have such a underwhelming and dark complexion.

“Alright, boss. I’ll let you off for the night. We’ll finish this conversation tomorrow.”

* * *

Yurik sat in the tavern, nursing a tankard of some type of warm, ginger mead. It was a bit too sweet for his taste, but he was assured by a few other patrons that it was the best drink they had tonight. He sat at a table in the darker part of the tavern alone, some papers arranged right in front of him. They were several reports from Leliana, regarding their recent coin collections in the Hinterlands. He heard a surge of laughter and looked up to see Varric speaking in a soft yet theatrical voice, who must have been retelling one of his stories. Dorian and the Iron Bull sat close to each other, laughing in hushed breaths, seeming to be completely immersed Varric’s words. The man sighed and looked down, going back to his papers. Much to contradictory beliefs, Yurik didn’t really speak with his party members very often. They were just so much more social and enthusiastic than him. He didn’t want to seem bitter and stuck up, but he literally just couldn’t relate or keep up with any of the conversations they had.

So, Yurik tended to not even bother speaking much.

The man ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He was getting unruly. His hair on the sides were shaved, with dark hair longer on the top. He ran a hand under his chin too. The scruff was getting heavy too, as it was dusted all under his jawline and under his chin. He sighed shrugging it off. His appearance wasn’t important nor did it matter. There was no point in thinking about it.

* * *

  _Received: $52_

_Our efforts have proven successful, Inquisitor._

_I’ve taken a portion for our coffers, but the remainder may be used as you require._

* * *

 “Is this seat taken, Herald?”

Yurik didn’t need to lift his head to know who was speaking to him. He simply turned the page to the next report, but shook his head.

“No, Commander. You may sit here, if you wish.” Yurik spoke, taking a small sip from his tankard, still reading and messily writing some simple addition problems to calculate how much coin was being gathered. “Thank you, Inquisitor.”

The blonde man sat across from him, having some papers in his hand too. The thought made Yurik feel a bit relieved, knowing that he wasn’t alone in being so busy.

“You don’t usually come down here, Commander. What brought you?” Yurik spoke, turning the page again, while scribbling some numbers on a separate piece of paper. Dammit, he also needed to figure out where the proceeds should go… Maybe towards the horse stalls?

Cullen was of course still in his armor and still looked as rigid as ever. But it was a bit refreshing to see the man in a casual space for once instead of cooped up in his office, alone.  

“The mead. I heard they had a new shipment of something new. I thought I should give it a try. But I’m curious, how come you aren’t joining the others?”

Yurik, again, didn’t need to look up to see who he was referring to. “I could ask you the same thing. I have lots of work just like you. These numbers don’t crunch themselves.” The green eyed man then flinched, but ultimately sighed in defeat and shame. His tone was supposed to be light hearted, but it still came out so cold. This was the reason he didn’t like talking. He always was so bitter in his tone, and it offended people all the time. Yurik cursed to himself and wished he wasn’t like this. _Imbecile._

“I apologize. I-I didn’t mean to sound so… It’s just that I-well, uh-”

“You need not to explain yourself, Inquisitor. I understand completely. You and I have a lot in common. I-I do not socialize as I should either. For the very same reason as you.”

Yurik smiled around his cup as he took another sip, feeling relief wash over him. He liked seeing Cullen talk more casual and at ease. He just wished he would call him by his first name. In fact, no one ever really did. It made Yurik feel even more distanced with the others.

“I appreciate your honesty, Commander. Thank you. It’s just hard. I do not know how to… Properly speak to them. Everyone see’s me as a savior or as an idol. But I’m just the same as you and everyone else. I do not wish to be seen as something I’m not.” Yurik spoke, not even knowing why he was being so talkative with the blonde. He was embarrassed. Why did he have to vent about his trivial insecurities to a man that already has a lot to deal with?

_Idiot._

Yurik didn’t dare look up from his reports, afraid of what expression the other might be wearing. Was he looking at him with annoyance? Disgust? Disbelief?

On the contrary, Cullen was looking at him with sympathy and understanding. He was the Commander of the Inquisition. He knew about the pressures of titles and what it felt like to feel trapped in your own throat and head. Not having the knowledge or confidence to confide in others. To truly have friends other than the ones he had at the war table. Even then, Cullen pushed them away often. The golden eyed man just didn’t know how to let people in. It was his heart and the voice in his head telling him that it was selfish to socialize. That it was a waste of time. And he with the torture of the Templars, he learned to believe it.

“I’m very familiar with the feeling, sir. I assure you. Thank you for confiding in me.” Cullen spoke, feeling a small smile spread across his face. He knew that he was gonna appreciate this moment for quite some time. It was special to him that the Inquisitor was allowing his feelings and insecurities to be trusted with him. But the blonde man scratched the back of his neck and looked away. Though he wasn’t very much used to such situations.

“Thank you for listening, Commander. But I must be going. I have more work patiently waiting for me in my quarters. But I was wondering, I saw you play chess with Dorian a few days ago. Please do come see me when you want a game.”

Cullen nodded and gave a small grin. “Sure, whenever you feel like losing a game, I’ll be happy to oblige, _Inquisitor_.” Yurik grinned back, arching an eyebrow. “Oh, we’ll see about that, _Commander_. But farewell.”

“Farewell."

Yurik took his tankard and papers in his arms, walking out of the tavern with a slurred, exhausted aura surrounding him. Cullen sat at the table taking in the moment that he just had with Yurik. It was nice that the two were able to understand each other a bit more.

It was hard to almost lose him after the fall of Haven, seeing him boneless in the snow, shivering harshly in the cold. The commander sighed and mentally shook the thought aside.

No use in thinking about it. Yurik was fine. He was alive and well. And as long as the Inquisitor was alive and well, then so was the fate of Thedas.

* * *

It would take two weeks after that night before Cullen and the Inquisitor could play a game of chess. Yurik, soon after that night in the tavern, went into the Forbidden Oasis to discover more about the significance of the shards he’s been collecting throughout Thedas. The raven haired man was exhausted and lifeless when he returned. His face was flushed from the sun and he had a new array of cuts and bruises. He had to fight through many Venatori forces, spiders, hell, he even fought against a giant. To say that the life has been drained from Yurik would be a complete understatement.

As for Cullen, he continued to train his soldiers and of course was still buried in his work. The blonde felt more aches from his Lyrium withdrawals, but working seemed to help get his mind off of the pain. But he was surprised after the Inquisitors return, he would find him standing rigid at his office door frame. Cullen was hunched over scouting reports when Yurik came. He shot up and immediately gave a respectful nod, greeting the younger man.

“Inquisitor.”

“No need for that, Commander.” Yurik spoke, waving him down softly. Cullen’s face colored a bit in embarrassment and he softly sat back down, secretly gripping the wooden frame of his chair. He didn’t like uninvited guests, but he was a bit pleased to have some company. His headaches and solitude made it hard to really think about work anyway.

“Is there something you need, Herald?” Cullen spoke, his voice a bit tight with suspicion. Yurik looked at him, but then averted his tired green eyes away from gold. This made Cullen even more anxious. “Inquisitor, did something happen?”

“N-No. I just wanted to play a game of chess, but… You’re clearly busy. I will come back another time, I’m sorry.” Yurik spoke, his voice just barely making it across the room. Cullen sheepishly smiled, relieved that it was something so trivial. He enjoyed Yurik’s demeanor. His youthful and soft personality was refreshing to see.

“I do not mind. I would enjoy a game of chess very much. I think it is something we both need.” Cullen spoke, now standing back up. Yurik smiled softly and nodded. The younger male has only been sleeping since he’s arrived due to his sleep deprivation in the Forbidden Oasis, but something in him wanted to see his Commander first. The tempting thought of partaking in such a domestic action in a broken world seemed like heaven to Yurik.

“Come. There is a clear chessboard outside. I wish to play with some fresh air. If you do not mind.” Cullen spoke as he strided over to Yurik’s side. The raven haired man smiled and nodded, silently noticing the three inch height difference between them, Cullen of course deeming at the taller one of the two.“That’s fine. I do need some air as well. I’ve been sleeping in my quarters since I’ve arrived.” Yurik muttered looking at him a bit sheepish. He did not want to seem lazy or weak in front of his Commander. But Cullen chuckled and nodded with a look of understanding yet amusement. “I see. I’m glad you are resting, Inquisitor.”

Yurik’s heart fluttered and he smiled genuinely for once.

The words meant a lot more than Cullen could understand, and the soaring hope of finally making a true friend made Yurik feel five years younger.

* * *

 


End file.
